For Moms - 4 Easy Ways to Get Your Husband to Help

One of the most common things that couples argue about is completing daily chores. Duties at home are not the most fun things to talk about, but they are definitely something that no husband and wife can avoid. That is why couples need to be on the same page when it comes to household responsibilities.

Being in sync helps avoid misunderstandings and arguments while ensuring that the home stays clean. Completing chores is a small yet essential way for partners to show that they care for each other, their relationship, and their living space. Couples who are always arguing on these responsibilities will likely end up with a resentful partner who does all the chores on their own.

So whats the reason why many husbands and wives fight over chores? According to experts, ones childhood may be the culprit. We usually repeat what we were taught to do growing up. Living with someone who had a different upbringing can result in different experiences. Both may believe that their experience is better than the other, which is where all the fighting starts.

Fortunately, there are ways to help you navigate this common problem. To get to the bottom of the argument, here are four tips on how to get your husband to help without nagging.

Tip #1: Determine What Needs to Be Done and Assign Them

One of the first things you should do to get your husband to help is to identify the chores that need to be completed, make a list, and assign them. Defining mandatory tasks helps both you and your husband see what constitutes household work. Generally, these chores include: 

• Cleaning all areas of the home
• Doing the laundry, ironing, and folding of clothes
• Grocery shopping and other store visits
• Cooking and washing the dishes
• Paying the bills
• Doing yard work, maintenance, and gardening
• Taking the kids to school
• Medical visits
• Extracurricular activities, etc.
• Caring for any pets, including grooming and feeding

One way you can go about telling your husband about this is by scheduling a date at the end of the workweek. Go get some wine, spend time away from the children, and bring your list with you. You dont want to bring up the subject of having him help around the house during a tense situation, as this is not a good way to get the help you deserve. Also, do not treat your husband like a child since this will only result in resentment and further arguments.

Tip #2: Ask Your Husband for Help

Our partners aren't mind readers, so it is always best to communicate with them clearly. When asking for help around the house, reminding your husband of unfinished tasks may sound like you're criticizing or nagging them.

One way you can solve this is by asking for your husbands help on a household chore directly. This may seem like common sense but you'll be surprised to know that many actually overlook this approach. There are also many reasons why new moms have a hard time asking their husbands for help. This inability to do so might be due to pride or thinking that they should already know what needs to be done at home.

To be fair, your husband may be clueless about what you want them to do. He may be a man, but being a husband or father is something new to him. He cant always tell what you need or want. If you want to know how to get your husband to help, then go ahead and ask for it.

Tip #3: Understand That There Will Always Be More Than One Way

You cant expect your husband to immediately become a master in accomplishing household chores if he's not used to it. If you see him doing something the wrong way, you can allocate time to speak to him about it. Don't tell him that he needs to complete a chore in one specific way or do it on a certain day. Instead, you should explain to your partner the way you do it and what has worked for you.

If you assigned them to do the groceries, don't berate them on all of the mistakes they made when buying the wrong items. When you criticize your husband on how they go about completing their chores, you only create unnecessary tension at home. Avoid using absolutes like I do everything; you do nothing; you never do this when speaking to your partner. Humans naturally feel that they want to defend themselves when someone is talking down on them.

No one enjoys being told that they never do something right. If you want to motivate your husband and let him be involved in household chores, then you will have to relax a little and allow him to contribute in his own way.

Tip #4: Show That You Appreciate His Efforts

Lastly, you want to get into the habit of showing gratitude to your loved one for completing his share of the household chores. Both of you are accountable for the harmony at home, which is why you should acknowledge this every now and then. Showing appreciation regularly lets you develop a good habit that has many benefits as a couple.

You can thank your partner for specific tasks they have completed such as mopping the kitchen floor or taking out the trash. Even thanking them for doing small things can go a long way to motivate your husband. You should also remind your husband that you appreciate being thanked as well. At the end of the day, showing gratitude to one another is part of a healthy and successful relationship.

Conclusion

The tips that have been mentioned in this article aren't requirements in your relationship with your partner. For a mom who wants their husband to contribute to household responsibilities, then all of the advice provided could really be useful. It can be frustrating at first, but you should always remind yourself that it takes time for people to change. That is why it is important to be flexible and patient. Focus on the positive things, and you will find it easier to address those that didn't go the way you hoped. What are your thoughts on the topic? How do you get your husband to help without nagging? If you want your husband to become a better father, apply for the parenting program or take my free online class.