6 Biggest Surprises About Fatherhood & What I Learned

“You are never going to get any sleep” 

“You aren’t going to have time for anything”

“You really think you can afford to have a child”

“Your relationship is totally going to change”

“I knew it, you are not the same that you used to be”

Whoa…chill….Those aren’t surprises, those are called expectations.  That’s for a whole other video.  In this video we are going over the 6 Biggest surprises about fatherhood.

Today’s video is in partnership with Fatherly.  Fatherly’s mission is to empower men to raise great kids and lead more fulfilling adult lives. We’ll put a link to Fatherly in the description so be sure to check them out.

No doubt, fatherhood is full of surprises.  While I sort of knew what I was getting into, I really wasn’t prepared for everything.  It’s impossible to be.  So I’m sharing with you the 6 Biggest surprises about Fatherhood.

#1 – The relationship takes work  – When our first child was born, I was a little worried because I didn’t feel a strong bond right away.  It wasn’t until I did bath time, changings, and feedings, that i then began to feel close. I think this continues as they grow.  There may be times when I feel a little distant from my kids.  Maybe I have been working too much or they have chose to spend most of their free time with their friends. So when I notice this,  I may provide them a little more affection to them or try to connect with them playing a game or spending some quality time together. It takes work.  But it’s work that I enjoy doing….but you can’t neglect the relationship and think it’s going to be strong.  You need to make effort.  It’s like that with any relationship.

#2 – That I could Love Something So Much –  I knew I would like this thing that came into my world, but I didn’t realize just how much I would love it.  How much i would want to protect it.  How much i want to help it grow. 
Having a child has taught me that my capacity to love is pretty big.  When were going to have our second child, I was concerned I wouldn’t have enough love in me to go around. Boy was I wrong.  It’s amazing how much love we have inside us.  Children can bring out emotions like nothing else can.  I used to not consider myself very emotional.  But I can say that has shifted a bit after having kids.  (but not too much)  

#3 – Time Goes By Really Fast – Yeah, yea, yea, everyone with older kids says it goes by so fast.  I didn’t believe them until i have now experienced it myself.  While there are some moments that seem like they are lasting forever, it’s insane how fast the time goes. My kids are now 8 and 10.  I often often look at baby pictures and it honestly feels like it just happened.  What this means is that we need to enjoy the present moment with ours kids.

#4 – It’s not all about me anymore – One of my biggest surprises of fatherhood was the shift in my decision making.  You quickly realize that another human is dependent on you.  As a result, your decision making shifts. From the littlest decisions like how to spend your Saturday to the big decisions like your career or financial planning.  Like your spouse, your child becomes and influencer or factor in your decision making.

#5 – How we act really affects our child – I don’t think I realized how much of a mirror your child really is.  I was driving the other day with my kids and my 8 year old daughter says, “oh no, traffic!!” I can’t imagine where she got that from. They are listening to everything you say and watching everything you do.  The good, the bad, and the ugly.  So often we want to take credit for the good stuff but aren’t willing to accept that the bad stuff is our fault too.  It’s important to be aware of how we act really does affect them.

#6 – Good parenting is not from instincts – I used to think that because I had good parents, my gut & instincts would steer me well when parenting my kids. It wasn’t until i began to studying parenting, that i realized how little I actually knew.  Concepts like empathy, unconditional love, and positive reinforcement weren’t in my vocabulary.  I started to seek answers for my frustrations and knew that other dads had to be facing the same issues that I was.   Whether you are a soon to be dad or have been a father for years, it’s never too late to learn more.  So I commend you for watching this video and hope you will stick with us throughout your journey.

I’d love to hear from you.  What was your biggest surprise about fatherhood?  Leave your feedback in the comments below.